By Gary Ferguson
During this stage of questioning the doubts experienced in stage one begin to turn into meaningful questions. The first signs of movement from unconscious to conscious are experienced in Stage 2 of Awakening. We experience a growing discomfort in our lives where there is a feeling that something is wrong or missing. We begin to question mass consciousness and the validity of rules, beliefs and so called laws. Things that used to bring us comfort like religion or traditions are no longer satisfying and the places that we once found answers no longer provide us relief. We question our identity but we still hold onto it because we must continue to prove our worth and we don’t yet know ourselves outside of our human identity. We begin to question the roles we play while feeling lost and even betrayed by others, or life in general. We may even blame religion, family, our culture, government or the world for our problems, or maybe we blame specific people for our dysfunctions as we shift responsibility onto others. We feel powerless over our lives not yet realizing that in order to take back our power we must take responsibility. In this stage, we might move from victim to survivor but we are likely still blaming others and feeling powerless until we begin to ask – who am I, why am I here.
Although we are searching for answers we still hold onto certain limiting beliefs that keep us enslaved in our own made up reality. We know from previous attempts that to challenge these belief systems, would create the experience of fear that brings us back and keeps us asleep a little longer. In our discomfort with our made up reality, its during our search for answers, we most likely experience a great deal of confusion, overwhelmed anxiety and even depression. We keep up with our lives but we are secretly just going through the motions as we experience a variety of challenges designed to help us wake up. Tolerable discomfort turns into pain and suffering as our disempowering belief systems are demonstrated in real-life situations and relationships. During this period we get our first glimpse of the unconscious programs running our lives but our desire to fit in and be accepted is likely stronger than any desires to free ourselves.
Although this is the beginning of our internal programs breaking down we are still trying to prove our worth by demonstrating our importance and seeking approval for our efforts. We begin to understand that happiness cannot be found in the outside world but we are still playing the game of seeking happiness in other people places and experiences. During this stage there can be a great deal of emotional triggers we may even experience trauma or remember past trauma. Our emotions are generally very strong and we may feel our most fragile or vulnerable. What we do not yet realize, is that our issues are coming to the surface to be healed and released. We are beginning to see the world through a whole new perspective, even though we still possess black and white thinking (now, more than ever). Our ego is holding on tight to what was and we are not ready to take responsibility for our lives. Therefore we make little or no connection between our thoughts and our experiences in our made up reality. Now that the outside world no longer satisfies our hunger, the journey inward is about to begin. We start to ask our self – what is happening? How did I get this way? How did I get so full of this BS (belief systems)? No wonder I feel so disconnected, starts to make sense. What are you present to, in this moment? Drop me a line at info@pathwaysforveterans.org if you’re looking to be free of IT.
Blessings,
Braveheart
